On finding resilience

Founder of Resurface Retreats Josh Dickson suggests how we can find strength during difficult times

Believing that you have the resilience skills to succeed and keep going, as well as maintaining an open mindset, will enable you to survive, remain productive and even start to flourish during difficult and testing times.

So what is resilience? The dictionary defines it as “the ability to recover from difficult conditions”. In psychology we tend to think of resilience as the ability to successfully draw upon both internal and external resources in a time of intense pressure.

So how do we become more resilient?

Examine your resources

Becoming more resilient requires awareness of your resources, accepting that they are reachable, and acting upon them. So it is worth sitting down and writing out all of your resources, as this can alleviate anxiety - you will usually be surprised by how many more you have than you thought. Then ask yourself where your deficits lie: either in the number of resources you identify, or your ability to act on them.

Use your internal resources

Practise gratitude; remember past times of mastery and pride in your life (such as recalling small victories in work and play) and then reliving them in mind using active visualisations); use cognitive techniques such as reframing (see Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism); try breathwork (such as resonant breathing or box breathing); employ savouring skills (see Barbara Frederickson’s Positivity); identify your character strengths (via strengths tests); and do some sentence completion work (see Nathaniel Branden’s Six Pillars of Self-Esteem). Another useful book on internal resourcing is Carol Dweck’s Mindset.

Consider external resources

External resources include yoga classes, martial arts, qigong, meditation classes, close friends, trusted family members, the gym, Heart Rate Variance (HRV) tools like Heartmath, teachers, therapists and psychologists, doctors, wellness apps (Flourish, Headspace, Oak), biofeedback devices (Oura ring, Fitbit) and Neurofeedback devices (Muse, Halo).

Upgrade your lifestyle

Don’t forget the importance of sleep, exercise and good nutrition as the bedrock for a resilient lifestyle too.

Remember to use these resources

Using your resources is essential in stopping yourself slipping into the negative thinking patterns that can lead to depression (such as ‘I am not in control’, ‘I am helpless’, ‘I am weak', ‘I cannot cope’), further isolation and poor mental health. Identify what you have, and what you need to fill the gaps, and take it from there.