On negative thinking
Stop negative thoughts in their tracks, says Desri Goodwin of Haven in France retreats
We are all susceptible to negative thinking, especially in times of turmoil and stress. Negative thinking affects everything – our mood, our perspective, our relationships and our health.
It is safe to say that we hurt ourselves time and time again with our negative thinking, rerunning something bad that happened to us, self-criticising, feeling resentment, jealousy or animosity about somebody – each time we replay an event we aren’t happy about, or get into a think-rant about something or someone, we feel worse than if we were thinking happy thoughts.
When we criticise or judge others, we create a bad head space for ourselves. Our mood goes down and we need it up!
When this happens to you, take responsibility, recognise and acknowledge that you are having a negative moment and do something about it.
Choose a way of reacting quickly
Like hitting a buzzer. Hit your STOP button. For example you could have an elastic band around your wrist and twang it (but that hurts), wear a bracelet on your wrist and change wrists each time you start the negative thought process, jump up onto a chair and act like a chicken, be crazy! You could put your favourite sing-along tune on loudly and sing at the top of your voice. All these things will halt the process of the thought and the last two especially (or something similar, be creative) will change your state.
Replace negativity with a happy or positive thought
Think of someone who makes you happy, a funny situation, somewhere you like to be or of a big dream or ambition you have.
Be kind to yourself (and to others)
Ask yourself what you would say to a loved one if they told you that they were thinking what you are thinking and how it makes you feel. We treat ourselves more harshly than we do others and it is damaging! By replaying a bad situation we hurt ourselves over and over again. Likewise when we allow ourselves to slip into a fearful, critical or judgemental loop. We stop ourselves sleeping, give ourselves tummy upsets, headaches, stress... we can use the same energy to do the opposite.
Get help from someone else
To go deeper into dealing with the problem and your reaction to it, find an experienced therapist to help you diffuse it and put it to bed once and for all. Often by re-framing a situation or addressing it in trance (you don't even need to tell the therapist what happened if it is a sensitive issue) you can find a way to make peace with it or even see it in a very different light and that can make all the difference to the way you feel and react to current situations in your life.
YOU are in control
So when negativity creeps in hit your stop button. Think a happy thought. Do something that makes you feel good (self-massage, guided meditation, yoga nidra, deep bath with oils, get lost in a good book, dance around your kitchen, dream big.....whatever works for you).