God the Whale

Sometimes I imagine the sun striking midday will drop

in a hand’s motion and smite me. Confess your crime:

mine is to love like the craftsman’s apprentice

who never dirties her hands in acting. My dad’s is arguing.

In the debate about the divine watchmaker, he lists

mutating viruses, parasitic worms, the test runs

of extinction and I say if God exists, I think they might

be a whale. Unfathomed and wildering. No cogs

and quick fingers. Just this warm blooded, blubbered God

on a migration path I can’t follow. Perhaps this is because

if God sung a song, I am certain it would cover

 

vast distances. It would be peaceful

 

as weeping and if whales could cry, God would.

They say God saw the world and it was good but this is

omniscience tangled in ghost gear, surfacing

through oil slicks, starving for sustenance in a sea

brought to simmer. We barrel into God at 25 knots

and God swallows it – our loneliness and toothbrushes,

bitterness and broken sandals, so when we send up

plankton bloom prayers God has no room

to stomach them, becomes deaf to all but military sonar,

seismic surveys and this: the waterlogged clock,

the leaking battery, the alarm ringing in God’s gut.

© Freya Bantiff

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