At Gaia House

I met my fear in the heavy sky

that hid the blue we knew was there,

and under the staggering oak tree

where I felt only this high.

In the owl’s call on the first night,

on the bed that was not mine,

and taking toast to the lounge

with the pots of red geraniums.

I met my fear, and then I lost her,

walking through the vegetable gardens.

Lifting my feet up and placing them down,

circling the cemetery of nuns.

I somehow, somewhere, lost my fear,

and then I lost this.

I lost this, slowly,

then overnight, I lost that.

I lost this, then that,

then him, and all of them.

I was walking slowly

on wet evening grass

barefoot alongside others

and I lost everything.

And drawing on the jacket of the breath,

I realised I was happy.

© caroline sylge - PN Review (issue 271)

Caroline Sylge

Co-Director of The Global Retreat Company, which she founded as Queen of Retreats in 2011. Carcanet published poet with a BA and an MA in English Language and Literature. Footprint published author of travel books Body & Soul Escapes and Body & Soul Escapes: Britain & Ireland. Has contributed columns, reviews and features to high profile publications during her 30+ year journalist career including The Guardian, The Times, The Telegraph, Condé Nast Traveller and Psychologies. Trusted retreat consultant and Vedic Meditator with a daily Yoga practice. Loves mark-making, reading, coastal walking and sea swimming in Devon, where she lives with her husband Tom and daughter Annoushka.

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